The Stages of Going Out on Halloween, by Age
FREEEEEE CANDYYYYY!!! —> FREEEEE BOOOZE!!!

Ages 3-13: They're giving away candy… for FREE!
You cannot believe this. Cannot! You get to dress up like a weirdo and then people all around your neighborhood and even in the really nice neighborhoods with houses you wish your parents would win the lottery and move into have to give you candy and if they don't give you candy you get to be a jerk? Nothing is more exciting for a kid! At this age, Halloween is like a giant temper tantrum you get to throw and no one can tell you to stop it. Maybe you go out with your friends, but mostly you go with a sibling or that kid who lives next door and then bring home your bag of magical free candy and sort through it with the patience and diligence of a banker counting $100s.

Ages 14-16: You're still trying to Trick-Or-Treat and yeah, you know it's wrong, but whatever.
Sure, you may be one of the few who's still Trick-Or-Treating but now you try to pick a costume that's slightly more grown-up. Like, you dress up as a character from your favorite kids TV Show (hello, Lizzie McGuire) instead of dressing up as a Power Ranger. The only issue is the fact that everyone knows you're too old to be doing this so you either have to lie about your age, or get really indignant about how you're still technically not an adult yet so fork over the candy, lady.

Age 17: Too cool for parties, not too cool for TP-ing everyone's house.
Hey, it's your last year in high school, so you're too cool for parties and too young to drink. What else are you gonna do besides throw toilet paper on people's houses until a neighborhood Dad gets mad?

Age 18: Guess who has no parents and a costume that is basically just a bra?!
You!!

Ages 19-21: Meh, it's a cool excuse to drink.
You might still dress up in something sexy or ironic, but the Trick-Or-Treating stops and you just go to a party instead. You spend weeks trying to think up a witty intellectual costume to prove your English Lit major without looking like you're trying at all. No one at the parties really cares about Halloween, but the decorations remind you of being a kid and the booze reminds you that you're kind of an adult.

Age 22: The last hurrah. 
You're starting to get the suspicion that Halloween is about to become a whole lot less fun in the coming years, so you just go all out. One epic costume, one epic party, something to remember for when you're 26 and have no clue what to wear for a costume.

Ages 23-25: You have no idea how to feel about Halloween anymore.
Now that you're out of college and have a job of some kind, dressing up seems like a waste of time. Plus, you wanna think of a really cool interesting costume but you can never really think of anything worth doing, nor do you have the time or money to execute. You are in a rut.

Ages 26: This is your year. Halloween is BACK!
Oh man this is it. This is IT! You talked your partner into dressing up as the Ice Bucket Challenge with you. Topical couples costume. That shit can't be beat. And you're pretty sure you will not get barfed on this year! Could there be a better Halloween for you? I don't think so!

Ages 27-30: Acceptance. 
However you feel about Halloween (and whether or not you wanna go out, dress up, get shitfaced or stay in bed) is pretty firmly cemented by now. You have a solid Halloween routine. A Hallowtine. Mostly it just becomes a day to binge eat candy with your girlfriends and refer to your red wine as "brain juice." What's cooler than that?

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